If you’ve ever studied the yin and yang symbol, drawn from Chinese philosophy, you’ll notice that the black aspect has a dot of white and the white aspect has a dot of black within it. In real world examples, we see how apparently opposite things compliment each other’s purpose. A car, for example, has an accelerator and a brake. The accelerator makes the car go faster, but also makes you feel more comfortable to use the brake, knowing you can pick up speed again should you need to. Likewise the brake, which slows the car down, ultimately helps you to avoid obstacles and to reach your destination more quickly and safely.
Action: Sometimes we approach behavioural change as if our goal was to remove an aspect of our approach. However, more often, a better aim is to find balance. As you reflect on your life, in what circumstances are you braking too much, and in what moments are you accelerating too much? Furthermore, are you putting pressure on your system by braking and accelerating at the same time? Progress is typically made by learning to regulate our capacities, rather than by seeking to compete them against each other, or to remove them.