All feelings are valid, just as there are no wrong notes on a piano. There are however certain moments in certain songs where some notes are appropriate and others are not. Similarly with feelings, the aim is to have them roughly in proportion to who, where and how we are in a given moment.
Action: By recognising the fact that the emotions that surface are valid, but that they may or may not relate to the present moment, we can become a better ’emotional piano player’. We don’t want any keys stuck down in advance, but nor do we want to remove any keys. We want to have a range of different notes we can hit, high and low, but like a skilled player we can engage whatever notes are most appropriate for us.