When it comes to wellbeing in the digital age, especially social media, one of the most empowering things we can do is reclaim our sense of self-worth from the algorithms and attention metrics that surround us.
I recent spoke to the Irish Independent’s Saoirse Hanley on this:
Psychologist Dr John Francis Leader explains what it is about a follow or lack thereof that feels so significant to social media users. “Throughout human development, how others perceive us has been an important factor in how safe we are.
“Fast forward to modern times: while social media likes might not equal safety – we still have some of the same cognitive systems that give attention to, and often worry about, how people feel about us,” he says.
“The same principle can come into play when it comes to unfollowing an account. You might have a valid reason to, whether it’s too much content in your feed or negative content, but there can be a fear of missing out which can lead to us staying connected, just in case there is content that we need to know about.”
It’s easy to feel stung or snubbed when someone unfollows us, particularly if that person once held a meaningful place in our lives, or if their online presence was something we paid close attention to. But it’s helpful to remember that such actions often say more about their needs or digital boundaries than about our value.
“It is important that we get skilful at managing our social media, as the content we experience affects how we think, feel and act. Like pruning a tree, this can include reducing how many people we follow, either removing that content from our life or sometimes just checking in deliberately every so often, rather than them always being in our feed.”
And if you find that you have been unfollowed, Dr Leader says the key is not to take it personally. “While sometimes an unfollow can be a statement, it can also be for a range of other reasons,” he says.
“Either way it’s really important that you don’t let your sense of self be defined by one person tapping a virtual button. Breaks from social media to engage mindfully with the world and focusing on a feeling of connection with others can help.”
Ultimately, your worth is never defined by a virtual gesture. Regularly disconnecting to reconnect — with nature, with loved ones, with yourself — can ground you in what’s real and enduring, far beyond the follow count.
You can read the full article here: