Often we think that our goal is to feel good. Whilst it’s understandable to want that, and makes sense to have that as an outcome, sometimes it doesn’t work so well as a moment to moment strategy. If you tell yourself you’re not allowed to be stressed this in and of itself can be stressful. Additionally there may be stress that is outside of your control, just due to circumstance, that it would be unfair to hold yourself to account for.
Action: A useful way of thinking about what’s wanted is to get good at being stressed. This of course doesn’t mean to go looking for unnecessary difficulty! Instead the idea is to develop skill at being okay even if things aren’t as we would like them to be. For the captain of the ship, while they may prefer good weather they don’t require it in order to be a good captain; they don’t need to be a good captain if the weather is good. They learn to have a relationship of types with challenging weather which empowers them more than the alternative.